Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's the end of the world as we know it...

...and I feel tired...

As you all know, I am a news junkie. This explains my reliance on blood pressure medication. Listening to CNN over the past few weeks has had me popping them like candy. I have a large amount of ground to cover so strap in.

First lets hit "Issue #1" as CNN calls it, the economy. I swear if I see one more pundit push up his nerd glasses and say, "Well technically we are not in a recession in the classic sense of the term..." I will blow a gasket. The jobless rate is up, the cost of food is skyrocketing, and soon the dollar will replace Charmin on rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom. Adding fuel to that fire, in a quite literal sense, oil prices have hit the ceiling and promise not to stop. Soon you will have to put a tank of gas on layaway. Rice is being rationed, corn is in short supply because some dumb fuckers are fueling their cars with it, even though it is not one bit cleaner than gasoline, and the cost of wheat is insane.

Second, you have many religious people looking at this situation and celebrating the coming Armageddon saying, "These are all just signs Jesus is coming soon." Problem is, they say that every time the world hits a crisis. Still no Jewish zombies with hand and foot piercings running around. Get off your knees and lets actually try to fix this shit.

Third, the Democrats are yet again aiming to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. That vile bitch Hillary may just steal this one, disenfranchising millions of voters who are voting for the first time. I, along with millions of others, will sit this election out if she steals it.

Forth, while I still support Obama, this Jeremiah Wright business scares the shit out of me. Jeremiah Wright is a vile, racist, hate-monger whose very existence sets back race relations 50 years. Barack, you have to condemn his psychotic hate speech and let the world know he is never to be your advisor on tie color, much less anything else. Hate mongering assholes like him are the reason I am an atheist activist.

With all that said of Jeremiah Wright, I have the same opinion of Pat Robertson and the rest of the right wing hate mongers the Republicans hang out with. If there were a heaven and people like Jeremiah Wright, Pat Robertson, and Jerry Falwell are indicative of those in it, I will gladly take myself to hell.

Finally, I am sick and fucking tired of the idiocracy in this country. Why is it a bad thing for Barack Obama to be smarter than the average American and flaunt it? I want an elite president. To paraphrase Jon Stewart, "I want a president who is so obscenely smarter than me it is no longer funny." This guy is leader of the free world. We simply can't afford to have the average drinking buddy, and I'm looking at you Hillary "shot and a beer" Clinton, in the White House. We need someone for whom the SAT and ACT would be a morning brain exercise. We do not need another dimwit who doesn't understand math, economics, science, and technology. We definitely don't need another president who says, "When it comes to evolution, the jury is still out." I am sick of having intellectual superiority be something to hide and be ashamed of. More people in this country have voted for an American Idol than any president. Fucking uneducated bastards who have a better chance of knowing Tila Tequila's life story than Thomas Jefferson's. You stupid fucks are dragging this country down with mindless television, Fox News, and a complete inability to accept logic on any level.

Where are my fucking blood pressure pills???


Aletha said...

Tila Tequila??? I assume this is either your brand of the week or a slut of sorts. I would google it but am so uninterested.

I have to say I agree with you on so many levels. So many.

And just an FYI...the horchata I buy little D has gone up 20 cents a carton. I assume it has something to do with this whole rice thing. It is small enough not to matter to most people and make me seem lame, but it is big enough to me to piss me off. My yogurt went up 1.30 a quart jar to 4.69 (organic Bulgarian shit) and I know you know about the price of milk and bread and cheese and special junk food-type treats. Let's not talk about produce and other fresh foods!!! Fucking transportation costs!

We are all paying for the bullshit going on around us that we have nothing to do with. In fact, the only involvement we have is in wanting to stop it.

I say a revolt is in order.

Oh, and weren't we supposed to be voting for your sad ass this year? What happened to Michael Skank-ass Clarkson, Jr, 2008?

I was completely on board with that if you remember. If not because a few things you stood for made sense, but to get me out of the house. Slacker.

Aletha said...

Jeff said we were going to put you on the ticket as a write in.

Watch out.

Michael J. Clarkson, Jr. said...

I won't be old enough till 2012. Then I will need your vote.