Sunday, December 06, 2009


She's gone. The words finally struck me as I got home from work at 3am and saw the one pillow on the bed. I've known for over a week that she was leaving. I wasn't even here to see her off. There is a long story behind why that I lack the energy to tell.

Part of me is happy to be on my own. I have spent all but two years of my adult life married and all of it living with others. I am finally learning to be alone and I like that. There is a deep and almost delicious melancholy one doesn't get to experience when trying to always be the rock in another's life. It reminds me that the highs in life have no meaning without lows to give them contrast.

Then there is pain. The pain of hurting the woman I have loved for half of my life enough to make her go. I know it is for the best, but its cause is the damage I did.

Tiffanie, I know I will never be able to put the pieces back together. I have wronged you irreparably and for that I will carry the burden to my grave. I ask not for your love, only your forgiveness.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Fun with distractions

You know, every time something important is about to happen in Washington, politicians against producing anything actually beneficial to this country remember how easily the cumulative Attention Deficit Disorder of the nation is aroused. We start to move towards rational health care discussion in this country and instead we have Republicans posturing for a fight over a perfectly legitimate judge, more idiotic posturing over gay marriage, and new calls of "drill baby drill." Add to that, the national news media plays right into this with lead stories like the fight between the now defunct Miss California and Perez "I'm a dumbass" Hilton. While I support the gay rights movement completely, Perez Hilton sets the movement back a generation as a living, walking parody of every gay stereotype.

You see, even with me, I digress from the important point at hand to wallow in the silliness. What I originally meant to write about I have only touched on.

The most important issue facing this nation right now is health care reform. This nation needs an immediate shift in the way we view health care. In a free and civilized nation, health care as a privilege only to those who can afford it is a crime against humanity. Health care to every citizen is how the rest of the civilized world does it and it works. Canada has nationalized health care and despite the Republican myths, it works. We must have single payer, nationalized health care in this country. We must stop these silly distractions, ignore all of the talking points, and rally for national health care in this country and not stop the mantra until such time as our leaders serve the common good or we decide to revolt. No longer can corporate interests sever the common good in the medical field. Medicine must be a right in any truly free society and it is time we caught up with the rest of the free world.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Stand by me

This is my favorite new video from my favorite new site:

Watch it, watch the rest on the site, and if you don't feel moved by the music, see a doctor, you might just be dead.  

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It's the little things

It truly is the little things that get you by in this crazy mixed up world. It is the morning hug from your daughter before she steps out of the car to go to school. It is the smell of a fresh brewed coffee being poured at the local cafe you have all to yourself. It is the waft of perfume from a passing girl that reminds you of another place and a simpler time. It is the laugh you get from a stranger as you tell a joke that isn't even that funny. This is a short post today, and hopefully it can count as one of your little things.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Who watches the Watchmen?

I guess the more accurate question is, "Who SHOULD watch the Watchmen?" The answer, which was unclear to many moviegoers tonight, is definitely NOT children. We went to see this movie tonight, which was a solid portrayal of a graphic novel (read "comic book") written specifically for adults. The book really did put the GRAPHIC in graphic novel and the movie is an unflinching portrayal. I will not review it other than to say you have to be a sick fuck to enjoy it. Yes, I am a sick fuck.

For the average, sane, and well adjusted person this movie is too intense. To be accurate, it entails a sickeningly accurate portrayal of rape, brutal violence against women, intense violence involving bones crushing through the skin, and entire bodies literally being obliterated in a gory mess that would make Jason Voorhees blush. The nihilistic worldview and wanton violence alone are enough to justify an NC-17 rating but it gets worse. There is plenty of nudity and sex, including a glowing blue superhero whose radioactive cock gets plenty of airtime and on a stadium screen is about 6 feet tall.

Now for any consenting adult, if the description I just gave sounds good for you, go ahead and see the film. Then call a psychotherapist. If you are in need of the same mental help I am you will enjoy it.

I do ask one thing though. LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME!!! In the front row of the theater was a whole row of children brought in by parents who clearly don't give a shit what their kids watch. For someone who can't tell reality from fiction, this movie will warp the fuck out of them. This film has a body count that rivals the holocaust and enough gore for ten sequels to Hostel. Having a giant blue cock in your face at that age won't help either. Hire a fucking babysitter. Can't afford one? Wear a fucking condom before you have the kid asshole.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some making up to do for inflicting this film on my wife. I didn't fully prepare her for this and the experience was traumatic. This movie really is not for sane people.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Why Facebook and Myspace suck

So I have both a MySpace and Facebook account and they annoy me. MySpace annoys me because they filtered the link to this very site, claiming it violates some use policy. I think it is because I say things that might offend the slow witted here and that is the bulk of MySpace users. Facebook annoys me for another reason entirely. Every time you or your friends do something, Facebook posts a blurb about it to the entire friends list as though it were front page news. What ends up happening is my page is filled with blurbs like:

Joe Blow has just joined the cause, Nose Pickers Anonymous. Join him there.

Jane Doe just jabbed herself in the eye on Running with scissors.

Bob Jones just dropped a turd the size of Wisconsin.

You can't blog there, the ads in the sidebars are infected with malware 95% of the time, and in the end, I really don't give a shit what my friends are doing when they are bored. If you are doing something on Facebook, 99.9% of the time it is not important and 100% of the time it is boring to read about.

I'd write more, but my wife has me addicted to Vampire Wars on Facebook. Two more consecutive days logging in and I get a new special power. Damn you FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

A note to congressional Republicans

I have been watching the tone in Washington in the last few weeks and what I am seeing makes me sick. The partisan posturing of Republicans in the Senate and House has been nothing short of staggering. By most polls the majority of Americans support the package as it was passed. Barack Obama has reached across party lines repeatedly trying to find a bipartisan solution. Instead of taking his offer, Republicans have grabbed every reporter with a running camera to talk about how he hasn't reached across party lines. Most Americans don't realize this but the Republicans have spent $790 billion just on Iraq, a war against a country that couldn't hurt us and wasn't home to terrorists until we deposed the government keeping them out. Add to that another $206 billion for Afghanistan and you have blown away the stimulus package by leaps and bounds. It is time to spend some money on America. It is time to put Americans first. It is time for the Republican party to stop being lying little whiners and start doing what they were elected to do. If that doesn't sit well with Republicans, we can always vote the rest of their sorry asses out.

Friday, January 09, 2009

An open letter to Sarah Palin

Dear Governor Palin,

I saw some clips on CNN this morning from interviews you did for a new documentary. In these clips you claimed the media portrayed you unfairly. For instance, in your comments about the interviews with Katie Couric, you admitted to faltering and blame the McCain campaign for not canceling the rest of the interview sessions once they saw the first one go poorly. You then go on to say that, had you been a Democrat, you would have received a more attractive portrayal.

Poor deluded Sarah. You were not belittled for being Republican. You were ridiculed for being an idiot. When you don't know that Africa is a continent, not a nation, you don't deserve to run a McDonald's, much less the most powerful nation on earth. You see, a savvy politician who has an interview go bad goes home and bones up on the topics they got hit hard on so in round two they can do damage control. A savvy politician also takes the opportunities offered to them by the interviewer to step away from bone headed remarks. When Katie offered you the opportunity to explain away your, "Russia is close to Alaska, so I have foreign policy experience" remarks, you should have taken it. Defending such a clearly stupid remark is yet another sign you are a stupid person.

Only adding fuel to the fire is your ludicrous stances on abortion, sex-education, and the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools. Even the Mormons allow for abortion when the pregnancy threatens the life of the mother or is a result of a sexual assault. Studies have shown many times over that teen pregnancy rates drop when real sex education is taught in schools. Finally, Intelligent Design is NOT SCIENCE. I don't have time to review the subtle requirements of the scientific method here so let us suffice to say that Intelligent Design doesn't even meet the first one.

We are just finishing the eight year term of a man who most agree is a dim bulb. The last thing this nation needs is a VP who makes him look like a Mensa member running on a ticket with an aging cancer survivor. Joe "Six-Pack" belongs at a tailgate party. Joe "I ran Harvard Law Review" is what this nation needs in the White House in a time of crisis. Understand, we don't mock you for your political beliefs. We don't even mock you for your redneck family. We mock you because you are an idiot.


Michael Clarkson, Jr.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

New year, new me

Before I dig into the issues of the day, a quick update on the vegetarian experience. Almost a month into this and, with the exception of Christmas Eve and Christmas day, I have stayed with it. This whole vegetarian thing has been way easier than expected. First I was finally able to gain balance in my water retention, which was the first trigger for this change. I had been swelling in my hands and feet to the point where for the first time in my marriage I could not wear wedding band and my feet looked like water balloons. I haven't added salt to my food in ages but I finally cut out the hidden salt in foods by primarily cooking on my own. During this month my weight initially ballooned to the heaviest I have ever been, 307 lbs. I increased my water and fiber intake exponentially and that cleared that out. I have lost about 10 pounds from that peak and my ring and shoes fit again. It seems 300 lbs is my tipping point for the worst symptoms.

Now that my water balance is regulated weight loss will be slower but steady as long as I keep calories down, which is easy when you eat primarily vegetables. I use very limited tofu and soy products because of the negative effects soy can have on male hormones in high doses. Most of my protein comes from nuts, beans, milk, and cheese. I feel considerably more energy and for at least the foreseeable future can't see going back to my old carnivorous ways. I may add meat back once I reach my target weight but the portions will never again reach the size they once were.

On other subjects, I have been following the trouble in Israel and it scares me. While a short term cease fire may soon happen I cannot see any permanent peace in the foreseeable future. I wish it were as black and white as some paint it but it really isn't. The Palestinians were wronged when their land was taken from them to create the state of Israel. The current people of Israel didn't do that though, that was a wrong of a previous generation. What this boils down to is an ancient fight for who gets to inherit the land that both Jewish and Islamic tradition count as holy. There is no clear cut "right" answer to that question. The current fight is being pushed by radicals on both sides.

In all of this mess there is one undeniable fact, the use of civilians as human shields by Hezbollah is deplorable. By placing their rockets on the rooftops of schools and firing on Israel from urban areas they goad the Israeli forces into returning fire and creating horrible collateral damage. Further, these terrorists fire rockets indiscriminately into Israel, killing the innocent but then protest when, in returning fire defensively, Israel harms civilians. I can only see one solution. Mainstream followers of Islam, you must rise up and stop Hezbollah. Only by standing against these who corrupt your religion and give all Muslims a bad name can we come to a peace agreement and possibly a free Palestine. It is the responsibility of all decent Muslims, which I know far outnumber the wingnuts, to force these radicals out of your society. Do it in the name of your children and the possibility of a free and peaceful Palestine.

I weep with you as you bury your children. No parent should ever have to bury their child. Put a stop to this violence before more children die. It is my hope that once cooler heads have prevailed, voices of reason can see past dogma and the wounds of the past to forge peace and that peace spreads across the entire world. I look forward to a day when no parent buries a child as a result of violence.