Friday, April 23, 2010

Censorship and South Park

*The following post contains graphic language and offensive material. If you are easily offended, do not read past this sentence. Unless you are an Islamic fundamentalist asshole. Then by all means, read on.

First, while I enjoy watching South Park on occasion I am not a regular fan of the show. I know their show often blows right past the borders of propriety into the realm of the gross, vulgar and offensive. In part, it is why I watch. Every once in a while though their shenanigans end up pointing out some societal flaw in very clear detail.

In this case, the last episode of South Park contained a depiction of Muhammad that was censored by Comedy Central for threats from There are other Islamic groups offended by depiction of Muhammad who are respectfully lodging their complaints through normal channels. These people I have no beef with and out of respect for those mainstream followers of Islam I am not going to display the original uncensored image here. Please note, I have decided not to depict Muhammad out of respect for mainstream Muslims, not fear of terrorist assholes posing as Muslims.

When any speech, especially that regarding religion is censored, we lose more freedom. Sure, South Park can be a bit tasteless in their satire. But for anyone to say that the behavior of religious fanatics does not deserve ridicule and satire, tramples the Constitution. Belief, no matter how deep, should never be allowed to stifle commentary. I don't declare war on Christians every time they call Atheists evil and of the devil. I simply point out the following:

Those who believe a bearded guy in the sky that watches everything you do and sent down his only son to act as a blood sacrifice for sin brought into the world by a woman created from the rib of a man who ate a fruit that made her aware she was naked given to her by a talking snake, shouldn't talk.

Muslims, before you go laughing at the Jesus people I remind you of the following:

Your "Prophet" married children and swung from peace and love to more violent than Hitler. He needed meds. Bi-polar disorder is no laughing matter.

Jews, before you get to thinking you are dodging the bullet, I remind you fo the following:

Just because your ancestors thousands of years ago owned a chunk of land does not mean you get the right to uproot thousands of people who have moved in since you left. It is a fucking sandbox. Learn to share or one day some asshole with the bomb will slip one past the US and blow your shit up.

Yes, South Park was making a statement offensive to all Muslims. Yes, it was in poor taste. But here in America they have every right to say it. Here in America anyone can say anything. That is until you start threatening violence to silence an opposing viewpoint.

You want Islamic law? You want to declare jihad on those who oppose your views? Go somewhere else. Go strap a bomb to yourself out in the middle of the desert at least 30 minutes drive from anywhere populated and blow yourselves up.

Or maybe you should just blow yourselves. All that pent up aggression and hatred of women needs release. Maybe you should get your balls tickled with each other's beards. Maybe pull out and give each other a dirty Muhammad... which is where you scream "ALLAH AKBAR" as you jizz in their beard. Don't pretend it doesn't happen. I had friends stationed in the middle east. As they would say in your culture, "Women are for procreation, men are for recreation."

I guess what I am saying, in the immortal words of Jon Stewart is, "Go fuck yourselves." I know, not as impressive without the choir and dancing, but just use your imaginations.

*The preceding rant is brought to you by those brave men who ratified the Bill of Rights, the first amendment of which allows me to make the dirty Muhammad joke, no matter how offensive.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Just Jessica

Rising from the dust yet again, I am back for another blog. I know, usually when I do these I am bitching about something but today will be different. Why? Because I feel different. Two weeks ago, two things happened to me.

One, I quit my job to strike out on my own again. No ill feelings to the old job, just felt it was time to mosey on down the road.

The second was Jessica. Two weeks ago I walked into Barton Street pub to meet some online friends in real life for some drinks. In looking for them, I ran into an old high school friend on his way out the door. I thought nothing of it and headed to the bar.

I noticed this beautiful girl dancing to the karaoke and noticed she kept looking at me.

She reminded me of this girl I knew in high school, one of the untouchable beautiful people that I had a crush on from the first day of freshman year. I walked up to ask her where she had gone to school and as it turned out, she was indeed the very girl I had drooled over in high school before I had grown the ego I have today. And for the record, just as hot now as she was then.

She asked me for my number under the auspices of looking up old friends from the reunion. I thought little of it and was just glad to talk to her. The next day she called me and asked what I was doing that night. Long story short, we went to Olive Garden and a movie. My inner 15 year old was giddy. I was on a date with the girl I had crushed on all through high school. We finished the night with a kiss on the cheek.

Now I know, those who know me are saying to yourselves, "Riiiight. Kiss on the cheek. Next you want me to believe rainbow ponies flew out you ass and sang the star spangled banner." Trust me.

For the last two weeks I have been dating one of the hottest girls I went to school with and taking it slow. I am also happier than I have been in years.

I am not saying I am settling down or picking out rings. I am saying she makes me happy just being around. No pretense. No worries. Just Jessica.