Thursday, November 03, 2005

More from the vast randomness

This post is pretty random as it is my brain simply throwing up on the screen so to speak.

So I spent the entire morning running around shuttling my wife all over town to get an upper G.I. that never occurred. Her doctor is a moronic imbecile who scheduled this test but neglected to schedule the requisite pregnancy test first. So I had to spend the entire morning shuttling my wife between three different labs because her insurance won't pay for a physician competent enough to get her shit straight ahead of time.

Is socialized medicine such a bad idea?

I wonder what the actual profit margin is for all of these tests?

Would it kill the city to properly level the roads near parking lot entrances so my Honda quits dragging?

Why are there 20 handicap spots in front of the grocery store and only three in front of medical buildings?

If man is created in God's image, does he look bad in Spandex too?

If God created the Universe and everything in it, who created Him? Furthermore, if matter can neither be created nor destroyed, did God create it or did it already exist? Then doesn't that disprove the bible version of god creating all things?

I saw the piece on Scientology this morning on Today. I want to start my own religion based on science fiction. We could worship Cthulhu, the demon squid god of H.P. Lovecraft's universe. We could all wear chum on our heads to signify we wish to be eaten first so as not to endure the millenial reign of horror brought by Cthulhu, Hastur, and the Great Old Ones.

I need more caffeine. I'm just talking crazy talk. Cthulhu...jeez...next I'll want to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster...May you be touched by his noodly appendage...

9 comments:

JC said...

Like the new look, good luck trying to figure out god...

Maybe the Cthulu thing isn't such a bad idea. Beachfront temples, sushi, t-shirts that say Miskatonic U.

I'm in.

There is a problem, however, I believe there is a rule in sci-fi religions, the author must have never written anything remotely readable.

Michael J. Clarkson, Jr. said...

True. Maybe we could set a new precident.

Angel said...

Why does Strawberry need an Upper G.I. anyhow? I mean, for crying out loud, she's far too young to be falling apart at the seams. Perhaps a change of sceenery/environment might help - any luck on Project Apartment Search for the Clarkson Clan?

Maybe you're far too much of a scientist to be a man of faith? You contemplate things most "faithful" ignore or debate, in order to keep their faith from being threatened by scientific proof to the contrary.

Eh - I've run out of intillectual steam for right now. Guess I'll windbag some more, some other time.

- Rev_Sapphire

Angel said...

PS: I'm game for FSM-ism or Cthulu worship any day. Hee-hee!

Brock Neilson said...

Michael,
I promised myself that I would only blog on Fridays but this post is making me laugh very hard.

I am actually in a study lab at college and everyone is looking at me like I am some cook.

And on top of all that I was nearly crying after I went to the site for the Spagetti monster.

Thanks for making me laugh, what a truly wonderful post.

Michael J. Clarkson, Jr. said...

The pleasure is mine Brock.

Capt. Caf said...

by the way my brother wants Cthulhu as president, he even has a bumpersticker to the effect of "Why go for the lesson of two evils? vote Cthulhu"
hehehhe,

jk said...

gog created god, and if u are trying to figure him out i would stop, have a great day god bless u.

Michael J. Clarkson, Jr. said...

Gog created God? And Gog would be who?