Friday, November 25, 2005

Only 395 shopping days left...

"This just in, only 395 shopping days left till next Christmas. Any schmuck still shopping for this Christmas must be an un-American Scrooge McGrinch. Why don't you just move to Afghanistan now you hater of Jesus. Jesus has told all Americans to spread joy and love on Christmas in the form of debt up to the eyeballs. You wouldn't want to disappoint the baby Jesus, would you? For you non-Christian heathens, what better way to shield yourself from the hatred of the Jesus people than to bury yourself in debt for Jesus..."

This year stores started putting up Christmas displays up around October 15th. Not only that but the Christmas carols and other holiday music started. I don't mind Christmas carols when they are well performed and Christmas is less than a month away. The problem is they are butchered by most of the nitwits who perform them and anything played for 3 months straight starts to suck.

This morning I heard all of the major morning news shows talking about there only being 30 shopping days left till Christmas. I am still digesting the turkey from thanksgiving and all the news can do is remind me I have to spend money I don't have to show my love for people and spread the joy of the season (as minted by the U.S. Government) to all of the retailers competing for my holiday dollar.

Where did Jesus ever teach, "Thou shalt go into debt up to thine eyeballs to celebrate my birth. Behold Jesus saith to his apostles, 'Thou shalt partake of the bargain prices for thine loved ones.' Blessed are the X-Box 360's. Look not to thine 30% apr but unto no payments till 2007."

I know I should be the last to espouse the teachings of Christ. I just hate that all this holiday does lately is bring out the avarice and greed of man. I know there are exceptions out there spreading real love and kindness. I wish the news would focus on them and not how much the retail industry relies on my buying into the avarice of the season. Okay, that is my Scrooge rant for the season.

Bah fucking humbug.

4 comments:

StrawberryBlondeTart said...

you best be leavin your hateraid at home tonight when we go shopping mr grinch!!!

i love you but i hate it when you get all grinchy about the shopping part of it.

Angel said...

Mike -

NOW would be the perfect time to read The Da Vinci Code. I'm serious, I hadn't really had time to read it, lately, but I took it to work with me yesterday and read quite a bit. It's very thought-provoking. It might make you re-think a lot of things, or at least research 'em. I'm 3/4 of the way done with the book, and by me talking about it my fiance can't wait to read it.

Go to Half Price and buy The Da Vinci Code...NOW! Hee-hee!

PooPooCup said...

Shopping. I have to say I hate it. I am a total internet shopper nowadays. Something about the crowds that kill me everytime. Last December sealed my fate of becoming the anti-shopper. I was in Ireland on my honeymoon, getting knocked up, doing some research, driving on the left... Decided to go shopping to bring back goodies for the people I happen to be related to. CROWDS of shoppers were crammed in every store in Dublin. I felt sick and sweaty. My hands were shaking and the buildings spun. I couldn't get out fast enough. Needless to say, I am not buying gifts for anyone this year but my son. But he's only two months, he just needs a cool rattle. I guess you could say I am grinchy, too. Isn't that strange for someone with estrogen???

On another note...

The Da Vinci Code. I had problems getting through it. I found it plausible, but there are too many holes. I didn't finish. It can be thought provoking, but so can any book. I think it depends on how much you know about religion going into the book. My degrees are in religious studies (literatures, liturgy, 14th.c. practices, all that crap) so I found it difficult to get into. When I read fiction, I like for it to take me somewhere. There is nothing like soaking in a steaming bath, reading about some headstrong farm girl who gets bent over by the dashing but mysterious farm hand. She pretends she is not that kind of girl, but don't we all? She wants more... wow, I see what's on my mind. I behave like a man sometimes, sorry.

Anyway, keep in mind that it is entirely fiction and let go of any religious training you may have if you really want to sink your teeth in it.

BTW, do you know who your friends are? Talking up a book to get you to PURCHASE it. So much for your rant.

Michael J. Clarkson, Jr. said...

I've heard interesting things about the Da Vinci Code and when I get the chance I will buy it. I am also picking up 2 new Scott Adams books, God's Debris and The Religion War.