"This just in, only 395 shopping days left till next Christmas. Any schmuck still shopping for this Christmas must be an un-American Scrooge McGrinch. Why don't you just move to Afghanistan now you hater of Jesus. Jesus has told all Americans to spread joy and love on Christmas in the form of debt up to the eyeballs. You wouldn't want to disappoint the baby Jesus, would you? For you non-Christian heathens, what better way to shield yourself from the hatred of the Jesus people than to bury yourself in debt for Jesus..."
This year stores started putting up Christmas displays up around October 15th. Not only that but the Christmas carols and other holiday music started. I don't mind Christmas carols when they are well performed and Christmas is less than a month away. The problem is they are butchered by most of the nitwits who perform them and anything played for 3 months straight starts to suck.
This morning I heard all of the major morning news shows talking about there only being 30 shopping days left till Christmas. I am still digesting the turkey from thanksgiving and all the news can do is remind me I have to spend money I don't have to show my love for people and spread the joy of the season (as minted by the U.S. Government) to all of the retailers competing for my holiday dollar.
Where did Jesus ever teach, "Thou shalt go into debt up to thine eyeballs to celebrate my birth. Behold Jesus saith to his apostles, 'Thou shalt partake of the bargain prices for thine loved ones.' Blessed are the X-Box 360's. Look not to thine 30% apr but unto no payments till 2007."
I know I should be the last to espouse the teachings of Christ. I just hate that all this holiday does lately is bring out the avarice and greed of man. I know there are exceptions out there spreading real love and kindness. I wish the news would focus on them and not how much the retail industry relies on my buying into the avarice of the season. Okay, that is my Scrooge rant for the season.
Bah fucking humbug.