Monday, February 13, 2006

Of Man Berries and Frilly Things

The Olympics suck. I will be more specific. The events covered by NBC suck.

Snowboarding gets a half hour block, not complete coverage.

Speed skating, which involves men slipping into body condoms and showing off their man berries, gets hours of full coverage.

Hockey gets relegated to an obscure channel until finals so a dude in a frilly shirt can execute a flawless triple mocha half-caf (or whatever) to the music of Kenny G.

Ski jump, where idiots speed down a hill and fly through the air aided only by sticks strapped to their feet, gets bumped for curling in which a bunch of guys named Doug can sweep the ice in front of a rock in a glorified game of ice marbles. This is what happens when the Olympic committee is allowed to drink Canadian beer.

I think the new rule should be that no Olympic event not involving a real risk of death should ever be allowed to preempt Law and Order. And no event involving man berries being shown flagrantly should ever see the light of day...still trying to reboot brain from flipping past speed skating...

He he, I said man berries more than once in a single post. You must admit, it is fun to say. Try it. People will look at you weird. Hey, stop looking at me like that. This is what you get when I am allowed to post while drinking...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you read my bolg and steal my idea for a topic?

You know, I love ski jumping.

Hubby says that a sport is only such if you cannot do it while smoking and/or drinking. I have totally ice skated while smoking. I love it, but I do wonder if it is a sport.

Man berries? Love it. Almost as much as ski jumping. And yes, saying it mmakes me smile.

JC said...

speed skating is kinda wierd, but I'll take it over this pansyfied ice dancing any day.

Anonymous said...

congrats, OZ. sounds like things are looking up for you all. new abode, new job-with benefits even.

marvelous.