- Mens relationship guide, "The correct answer to, "does this make me look fat" is to feign a heart attack. Bonus points are awarded if you actually have one. The reason for this is that women, no matter how hot they actually are, think they are fat. A woman asking this question is going to hate you for either calling her fat or lying about her being fat. I have heard another good answer is to distract her from the question with a Visa Platinum but I don't have that kind of bankroll."
- Memoirs, "Life is an odd thing. The trials of yesterday you thought would kill you make the fond memories of today. Youth may be wasted on the young but experience is wasted on the old."
- Humorous fiction told from first person, "I woke up that morning and in my usual morning haze rolled off the bed and headed in the direction of the bathroom with my eyes closed. I had started to pee when I remembered going to her house last night. I opened my eyes and thought to myself, "At least now she won't have to water that plant in the hallway.""
- Trashy Romance, "She fell into his arms, her soft breasts pressed to his hard muscled chest. She felt his hand run up her naked back to her head. He took some of her soft tresses in his hand and softly growled in her ear the words, "You are mine tonight" giving her hair a gentle tug for emphasis. Her knees went week as she felt his throbbing manhood harden against her skin, anticipating the moment he would posses her and bury it inside her..."
- Societal Commentary, "For every new reality show made I swear another million brain cells die per capita. My mother-in-law has a DVR brimming with hours of the most mind numbing television ever created. I swear I will stab my own eyes out before watching another episode of "Survivor"."
- Political rants, "Why do people in this country expect the next set of leaders we elect to be better than the last when we keep selecting them from the same elite groups? For once can't we find someone from outside these corrupt political circles?"
- Collection of essays would basically contain all of the above.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
I figured to get the vote moving a bit from the previous post I will throw sample snippets of each type: